How to Support Someone with Dementia Who Refuses Help
When someone you love begins to show signs of dementia, it can be heartbreaking to watch them struggle, especially if they refuse to accept help. You may find yourself walking a fine line between wanting to protect their independence and worrying for their safety. This is a common and deeply emotional challenge for families and caregivers.
Understanding why your loved one may be resistant is the first step in approaching the situation with patience and empathy. In this blog, we’ll explore some practical and compassionate ways to support someone with dementia who is reluctant to accept assistance, helping you navigate this difficult journey with confidence and care.
Why Are They Not Accepting Help?
It’s common for someone living with dementia to deny or downplay their struggles. This can make it incredibly difficult to put the right support in place as their needs change. There are many reasons why a person might refuse help, including fear, anger, lack of awareness, shame, or embarrassment. Understanding why they are resisting is the first step in finding the right approach to support them.
Tip #1 Broach The Subject Gently
It can be a very frightening and anxious time for someone experiencing memory loss – and they may not even realise that anything is wrong. When discussing your concerns, try to approach the topic with empathy and reassurance. It may help to remind them that memory problems don’t always mean dementia. Framing the conversation in a calm and gentle way can reduce anxiety and defensiveness.
Tip #2 Keep a Diary of Examples
Keeping a diary of specific incidents or examples can be invaluable. Not only does this make it easier to communicate your worries to your loved one, but it also provides clear information for a GP or healthcare professional if you need to seek a diagnosis. Concrete examples can help others understand what’s really happening day to day.
Tip #3 Talk About the Impact on Others
Sometimes, people respond better when they understand how their condition affects those around them. You might explain that getting additional support would help you take a break or ease your worries. This approach shifts the focus away from the person feeling like they are the problem, and instead frames it as something that benefits everyone.
Tip #4 Adapt to Their Communication Style
Think back to times when you’ve been able to persuade this person before. What kind of communication worked best? Are they driven more by emotion and reassurance, or do they prefer logic and practical solutions? Understanding how they think and communicate can make it easier to connect and get your message across effectively.
Tip #5 Try to Stay Positive and Calm
Finally, remember that this process can take time, and sometimes, your loved one may never fully accept their diagnosis. This can be incredibly challenging, but it’s important to stay patient and kind, both with them and yourself. Try not to get frustrated or upset if your efforts don’t immediately work. Remaining calm and positive can help create a more trusting and supportive environment.
Supporting someone with dementia who refuses help requires understanding, flexibility, and compassion. While you can’t force acceptance, you can create an environment of safety and reassurance that encourages trust and openness. And remember, you’re not alone. There are professionals and support networks available to help you and your loved one every step of the way.
